Category: Family

  • 6 Years On. Dear Mom.

    August 2, 2024

    Dear Mom,

    Today marks six years since you left us, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about you and miss you dearly. Your love and guidance have always been my anchor, and I find myself constantly drawing strength from the memories we shared. I wish you were here to see how much you’ve shaped my life and the person I’ve become.

    This past year has been particularly eventful. We had the wonderful experience of hosting an exchange student, Michele (Michael). It was incredible to see the world through his eyes and to share our culture with him. As you had seen with our first two guys, they all become like family, and Michele’s presence reminded me of how much you valued family. I have often thought of how proud you’d be of this enriching and educational journey. You would have loved Michele, as I know you would have loved all of our kids.

    We spent some time traveling around the USA, which I know you probably miss more than anything. We went to a few new places, and reacquainted ourselves with a few from years gone by. There have been so many locations where I’ve shared with Chris or Michele about how much you would have loved being there. Moreso when we revisited the Grand Canyon, and drove along Route 66. Traveling provides opportunities to enjoy moments of quiet reflection, and there were times when I felt your spirit alongside me. You always loved to travel, and I carried a part of you with me on every trip.

    I still often find myself thinking to call you and talk about the things we are doing, and I hope you feel those moments as strongly as I do.

    I miss you every single day, Mom. Your absence leaves a void that can never be filled, but I find comfort in knowing that your love surrounds me always. Thank you for being the incredible mother you were, and for continuing to inspire me even from afar.

    With all my love,
    James

  • Celebrating a Legacy: Remembering My Mother on Her 85th Birthday

    Celebrating a Legacy: Remembering My Mother on Her 85th Birthday

    Today marks what would have been the 85th birthday of an extraordinary woman – my mother. As I navigate through this bittersweet day, I find myself enveloped in a sea of memories, each a testament to the remarkable (and hard) life she led and the enduring impact she has left on those who knew her.

    Mom and I at The Ryman in Nashville TN

    Mom was a beacon of strength and resilience, touching lives with her unwavering compassion and boundless love. She always has a way of bringing a smile to your face, sometimes funny and sometimes in response to something she said. She had a way of making everyone feel special and loved, a gift that made her a cherished figure not only within our family but in our community as well. 

    Reflecting on her life, I am reminded of the countless lessons she imparted, especially to me. From her, I learned the value of resilience, the importance of kindness, and the unyielding power of love. I also inherited her stubbornness which is both a blessing and a curse. She was a woman of grace and dignity (most of the time), facing life’s challenges with a quiet yet formidable strength. Her legacy lives on in the lives she touched and the love she shared. Especially among her children and their offspring. 

    On this day, her 85th birthday, I celebrate her life, her love, and her legacy. While she may no longer be with us in person, her spirit continues to guide and inspire me every day. Happy birthday, Mom. Your memory is a blessing that continues to light our way.

  • Four Years Gone: Miss You Mom

    Four Years Gone: Miss You Mom

    Miss you every day, but I’m reminded how much I miss you on this day when you left us. Love you mom. Life just isn’t the same without you. Miss telling you about everything going on with our lives.

  • Hello Mother. Three Years On.

    Hello Mother. Three Years On.

    Hello Mother. It is I, your number three son.

    I remember the first FB message I got from you. “Hello James … this is your mother.” I’d been trying to get you to set up a Facebook account for months, maybe a year or so before, and then one day, out of the blue I get this message with a friend request. Little did I know the carnage that was about to be unleashed on the farming community when you got into Facebook. I’m not sure they ever did recover.

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  • Letter to Mom – Two Years

    Today is fast becoming my new mother’s day. Not in a way to celebrate, but more to honor my mom. I often talk with her and let her know what is going on, and this year, I’m writing a letter to my mom, to keep her updated on life as it has happened without her since she left us. In a way, it is my therapy.

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  • Happy 80th Mom!

    Happy 80th Mom!

    Mom’s 73rd Birthday in 2011

    Eighty years ago in a small town of Seymour, Australia, my mom – Dawn Olive McCullough – was born. It is hard to fathom everything that mom lived through in the time that since she was born. She celebrated seventy-nine of her birthdays on this earth, including her seventy-third (73rd) with Chris and I and friends in 2011. That was the first birthday I had celebrated with her in nearly twenty years. It was also the last birthday I celebrated with her. This year, we celebrate her birthday without her being physically here, but fondly remembering her in spirit and with love.

    Celebrating over the years, here are some pictures from our time with mom.

    Happy birthday Mom. I love you. Always will.

  • 149,760 minutes

    149,760 minutes

    As of writing this post, that is how many minutes since my mom died. This calculates down to 3 months and 12 days since August 2nd around 22:15 (10:15 PM). [Actually it is a little longer than that, as Australia was ahead of the USA by 15 hours at the time.]

    3 months doesn’t seem that long ago, and when I think about mom dying just over three months ago, it doesn’t seem like it was the right amount of time. When I moved it to minutes, that seemed right. Well, not right, but it captured how my brain was treating each passing minute, hour, day, and month — like the eternity that seems to have transpired.

    A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it’s too late to let her know he sees it.
    –William Dean Howells

    Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my mom. I miss her every day. I know those feelings will always be there, and there are some days when it is really tough. And there are some days when it is crippling. Not being able to share with her seeing something that I know she would love, the political discussions we used to have, or simply sharing the latest adventure of Max the cat. So many reminders … every day.

    Depression affects us all in different ways. For me, my mind has determined that shutting down and compelling my body to sleep is one of the solutions to help deal with my thoughts and feelings. I call it “rebooting.” It is kind of how I handle stress, except unlike with stress induced rebooting, I don’t wake up with a resolution. There is no resolution when you are dealing with the death of a parent, especially one that you are were so close to. And that is part of the dilemma. I tell myself that I’ve resolved what happened, but I think my mind has other ideas and reminds me that I don’t have that resolution. Maybe I never will.

    Perhaps writing about it (as I have started to do) will help me sort through all the noise that fills my mind. Maybe time will be kinder. Except I’ve learned that time is rarely kind. Minute-by-minute time moves forward and then you find yourself 149,760 minutes later still wondering why, and feeling the need to reboot growing stronger.

  • Celebration of Life – My Mom

    Celebration of Life – My Mom

    A number of people asked for information on my mother’s funeral, and I felt that it was easier to share this here.

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  • Mid-Year Update 2012

    Well it is a little after the mid-year, but I thought I should make a post – if only for historical purposes. Since the last post (way back in April) a lot has been happening.

    Wedding Planning: This is continuing along and we have most of our wedding details sorted out (location, officiant, flights, hotel, etc.). Where we have stalled a little – mainly due to a lot of other things happening – is in planning the celebration parties in Australia and Texas. We are both getting some normality back in our lives, so this planning will resume in the new few weeks as we make the final arrangements to celebrate with our friends and family.

    New Job: In May, I received a promotion at work to lead the new mentor2.0 program at BBBS. This has involved travel to New York for some training, and then aligning this program (as it exists in another part of the country) with the standards of BBBS. I have been almost non-stop since then, and have loved the experience of starting a new program like this that will impact so many youth in our community. I have an amazing team that I am working with, and while it was sad to leave my old team, the transition has been extremely rewarding. Along with this change, has been the renewal of my work visa (which is still pending at the time of this post), which always causes an additional element of stress in our life. While I have an amazing attorney helping me, once every couple of years, life is just that little bit more uncertain than other times in our life.

    Home Improvements: Yes, I know we have only been in the house for a little over a year, but these are the good kind (and planned) improvements. Chris and I have been looking at pool companies of the last couple of months, getting ideas from friends and neighbors on what to factor in with our pool. We are at that point where we are ready to sign the dotted line and get this pool started, but this needs to wait until my visa has been finalized. Along with the pool, we are moving forward with painting some rooms (yes, we finally agreed on colors), and continue to search for that right piece of furniture for various spots in our home.

    Travel: We have not done a lot of travel this year together, but Chris continues to explore the world at times. We recently took a trip to Austin and stayed at the Driskill Hotel (one of America’s most haunted hotels), and got to spend some time with our friends Layton and Sarah and their son, Eli! We are planning a trip to Las Vegas in October in conjunction with a conference that Chris is attending. Chris has never been to Las Vegas (well the airport on a transfer once, but that doesn’t really count), so I wanted to go and spend some time with him in a place he as always wanted to go.

    Family: Over the past few months, we have been helping Chris’s mom sell her home in East Texas, and then relocate to Dallas. She spent the month of July with us, and finally moved into her new home at the beginning of August. The stress levels have been reduced tremendously with this transition, as she is much closer, and – to be honest – she seems much happier being in her new home. On the Australian family side, my mother and sister continue to make plans to trek back to the USA for another visit later this year, and I’m excited to see it that happens. We will be travelling to Australia next year so I am hopeful that I will have the opportunity to catch up with all of my immediate family while we are there.

    Our Little Brother: Trey started high school this year. It has been pretty stressful leading up to his transition from his old school to his new school. He and his mother moved to a new part of town, and he seems to be pretty happy with the arrangement. Trey and I have been playing a lot of Xbox: Mass Effect 3 over the past month or so, and it’s been fun to work together to destroy the invading forces. He is insanely talented at these types of games, and I can just only sit back and watch him work his magic through the controller. Chris and I thought that maybe now that he is in high school that it may be less cool to have Big Brothers, but I think we might be in a good spot.

    Overall, it has been a very busy few months since my last post. There have been other changes in our lives that have posed some challenges, however in addressing these, we have been fortunate to find other opportunities that have guided us to continue to move forward in life. As Heraclitus once philosophized: the only thing that is constant, is change. The last part of 2012 will continue to offer challenges and change, but I am confident that we will  meet these head on and learn and grow from each.

    Maybe that should have been my resolution for the year.