[X-Post from Facebook]
For those that know me well, you would know some of these truths about me: (1) I’m honest (sometimes to a fault); (2) I may not like what you have to say, but I’ll listen (knowing that you are probably not going to like what I’m going to say when you listen); (3) There are very few things that I would not say, that I wouldn’t say (or would not have said) in front of my mother; (4) I’ll answer most any question asked in a respectful manner (and I’ll be honest in my answer, as best I can be); and (5) I’m a proud speck in the diverse microcosm that is the LGBTQ+ community (the “G” part in case anyone is wondering).
My mother raised “her boys” to stand up for injustices when we could. From a very young age, when I have seen or experienced injustice, I have taken some action. Not always direct, and not always successful. These injustices may vary, but – again, with rare exceptions – I would always do what I could. I try as best I can to support my friends, my family, and my community as much as I can. I fail sometimes in this, and I recognize it, but I am driven to always, always do better.
Maya Angelou said it best, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” This quote has been on my Facebook profile for as long as I can remember because it is the central part of who I believe I am. I can always do better.
Some of you may have gotten to this point and may be thinking “Um, I have no idea who this guy is that is talking right now, but this is not the James that I know.” To that, I say welcome to my failures and if there is ever an opportunity for me to figure out how to show you the person who I think I am, then I will gladly take that opportunity.
Rarely, but not never, do I take to social media to rant about personal things. It happens, I know, but it’s rare. The main reason for this is, really who cares. No one is really *that* interested in reading the gripes of another person about this or that. I get that. But there are times, when people who matter to me, issues that are important to me, things that matter to me, that I decide to just put it out there because keeping it inside is not the ideal solution.
And that is what this post is about. It’s a rant. It’s the WTF is wrong with people kind of rant. It’s the “why do insecure people feel the need to trample on others just to make themselves feel good, or worthy” kind of rant.
Here is the thing. I’m done trying to deal with all the chatter, whispers, and outright BS that I’m now learning about as it relates to my and other people’s support of young members of the LGBTQ+ community wanting to hold a freaking Prom in an all-welcoming, safe and supportive environment. If you are not part of a minority, and many of you are not, then you may not fully understand the challenges that our youth have simply living their life the best that they can. Their life, their way, and with the support of their families, friends, and community. Your opinion simply doesn’t matter if one of these youth is not your family member, not your friend, or not part of your community.
Recently, an amazing group of LGBTQ+ youth decided they wanted to host a prom for their group. While our ISD is pretty good, they are not perfect when it comes to the LGBTQ+ youth in our schools, especially around these milestone events (enough said about that). A number of those youth reached out to me, and others, to discuss how I, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community, could support them as they worked to plan this event. This group of youth range in age from 15 or so, through to 18/19. They had a plan, they had a venue and they had the passion and energy to make this happen. So naturally, I said yes, I’d support them in any way I could, and many other members of our community joined with me in this commitment.
All was great leading up to the prom (which was held on June 17th). Then the whispers started, the comments on private groups, and posts made on more public groups about how this event was not good for our community, that the people supporting these youth were not good citizens, or they weren’t the people that they claimed to be, or that the church they were hosting their event in was “not friendly” to the LGBTQ+ community, or that the LGBTQ+ youth group, was in and of itself, anti-LGBTQ+! (I sh*t you not!)
The intensity of these posts increased leading up to the prom. Posts were now being made to liberal groups in the area, other Pride groups amongst others, and other local groups. To be clear, I know where these posts were coming from. Also to be clear, these were not coming from non-LGBTQ+ folks, but from LGBTQ+ individuals and “their” allies who decided to set their target on an LGBTQ+ youth group because they decided they could. Let that sink in for one minute. These hateful posts and words were being spread by members of the very community that these youth were a part of.
The posts included attacks on supporters of the prom, and towards specific members of the youth group planning the event. The posts contained false information, intended to attack reputations, and to intimidate the youth group to not proceed with the prom. These attacks continued through a variety of communication channels up to the day of the prom. It had an impact. It kept parents from allowing their kids to go to this event because they were concerned about the safety of their kids. Kids didn’t want to go because they feared the people who were sharing these posts.
Now part of me wants to believe that when people – who know me, and others referenced in these posts – read those posts, they saw through the BS and malignant words being shared. I want to believe that. I also recognized that these posts were designed as a kind of distraction from what they and their supporters have been doing, and the issues those individuals are having behind the scenes. The most infuriating part of these people’s posts, and those that shared them, was they took aim at a part of our community that needs our support MORE THAN EVER right now. To those people, and those that shared those posts, they decided to take aim at an amazing group of youth who were just trying to host a prom. Again, this was coming from LGBTQ+ individuals and their “allies” AGAINST our LGBTQ+ youth.
Many of you may know these individuals. Many of you have been hurt by these same people because you weren’t on the same page, or they felt that you could no longer be trusted. Many of you have supported, and continue to support, these individuals and their organizations. That is between you and your checkbook. But understand this, when YOU support people who attack, intimidate, harass, scare, and belittle others because they can, and you don’t do anything about it, then YOU are supporting their actions. YOU are also the problem.
Simply put, I can’t stand bullies. I can’t stand spineless individuals who ask others to make posts that tear down people in our community that simply don’t warrant these hateful attacks. Some may see this post as a bully post. I prefer to think of it as standing up to an injustice.
This post is about an incredible injustice targeted at a group of our LGBTQ+ youth who find it hard enough every day to live, work and go to school in the city we live in, with the hope to have fun on a Friday night at a prom; where they could just be themselves.
Thankfully, over 30 of them did, but not before the venue and supporters had to pay for the Frisco Police to station two police officers at the event to give these young people a chance to have a safe Prom. It had to be safe, it had to be inclusive and it had to be welcoming — and thankfully, they got to have their prom.
Finally, to those youth that were responsible for the organization and planning of the event, all of you are rock stars in my eyes. You did what you felt was the right thing for you to celebrate life as you live it, and you did it yourselves. Please, please, please never let these kinds of hate-filled individuals ever drag you down to doubt you are doing the right thing. You are better than they are. You always will be!
And to anyone out there that wants to make sure this never happens again in our city, drop me a line. We can grab some time to chat over the phone, coffee, or wine and we can get into the juicy parts of it all.
Oh, and if you were one of these people who read these posts, about me, my family, or my community and thought there was truth in the lies that were being spread, do me a favor and click the unfriend button. You don’t know me. I won’t know and I most definitely won’t care.
Peace, Love, and all that!
James