Ten years ago today I arrived in the United States on a journey that was filled with hope, and built on a new love that had yet to be fully explored. Today, ten years ago, Chris and I landed at LAX and then made our way to DFW where Chris and I started our lives together. It has been an incredible journey that has had its high and low moments, but each step has been something that I have been thankful for every day (well most every day).

The decision to make the move across the Pacific was a very tough one for me. I was leaving people behind that I loved, who were a major part of my life and a stable part of my social environment. I have missed many opportunities to celebrate in the joys that my friends have experienced and the sadness in the loss of dearly loved friends.* It was my decision, but it was a decision that I do not regret, as I have enjoyed the privilege of sharing my life with a man that contributes to my happiness everyday.

Today is about the love that I share with the man whom has been a significant part of my life for the last ten years, and the love that keeps me going every day.

So Happy Anniversary Chris, I hope you have enjoyed our life together as much as I have, and will continue on the journey with me for many years to come.

Side note: We chose today (March 5) as our “anniversary” date as this was the day that we officially started our lives together as a couple. Even though we had known each other for some time prior to this date, it seemed appropriate that we used this date as our date.

* Since arriving here, I have developed many wonderful friendships where I have experienced their joys and our collective sadness over the years.

Family, Reflections anniversary, Chris

I’ve not spent a lot of time going through my family history on this blog, as in the most part it is rather boring, and not overly eventful. If I think hard enough, I’m sure there are plenty of anecdotes that I could recall about the oddities of my family (we all have some), but I’m not about to start today. What I am going to do is post a series of dialogs that I have recently had with my (former) sister-in-law (FSIL).

A little history first. My eldest brother, Peter, married Sonia a “long time ago” and after four children they divorced. It was not the most ideal of situations, and there was a lot of anger at the time, and as it turns out, there still is … but I get ahead of myself.

Over the last few months I have been making connections with family members back in Australia. Among those has been – to my delight – Facebook friendships with my nieces and nephew, the children of my FSIL. I’ve had the opportunity to re-meet these amazing adults (as they are now), and share in the joys that have occurred in their lives with their partners, spouses and children. It has to be one of the highlights and true benefits of social networking sites like Facebook.

Anyway, earlier today I get the following message on Facebook from Sonia (direct cut and pastes are here):

why do you want to be friends with me none of you even bothered with us for thirteen years now you all want to be my friend it like your so called brother he did not even want to see his own children now all of a sudden he wants them as far as l’am concerned we have nothing in comom sonia

to which I replied the following, thinking that this would be the end of it:

Hey Sonia,

I didn’t ask to be your friend on FB, so not sure where the request came from. If you received it, then you are very welcome to disregard this. I’m actually very happy with the arrangement we have. You have moved on with your life, and it seems that you are much happier now, and I’m glad that you have that. I’ve moved on with mine. Our lives needn’t connect at any point directly.

For me, I’m excited to be making contact with my nieces and nephews again after being out of the country for nearly ten years. I’m equally excited that I may get a chance to meet up with them when I return to Australia later this year for a visit.

Please don’t misinterpret my recently established friendships with my nieces and nephew to imply that I am seeking a friendship with you as this is most certainly not the case.

Thanks for the note, and I wish you the best in your future.

James

Sadly, there was a response shortly after, which was more direct.

you tell me why is so important that you have to have contact with my children and grandchildren not one of you had bothered for thirteen years now it seems that because that tthey are older all of a sudden you want to see them not once in thriteen years any of you wanted to know about them they are all asking me question why when nobody wanted to know about them yes l’am verey happy l have a woderful husband and we are verey happy now we want some answers as to why none of you wanted to know them before thanks sonia

Needless to say, I was a little disturbed that she appears to be very angry still at what she perceives to be a decision made by me to have nothing to do with her children. Without going into the details – which I won’t – the decision was not mine to make. So I responded in what I hope will be the last communication with my FSIL. Perhaps I’m being a little naive.

Sonia:

I am not really sure what answers you are looking for. 13 years ago we didn’t have social network sites like Facebook, which have made connections with relatives and classmates a lot simpler. The advent of Facebook has created an insurmountable number of connections that many people considered long lost. I’m grateful for this, and especially grateful that family members have been able to reconnect without any of the boundaries that once existed. Of course, for the last ten years I’ve been living in the USA, so that only complicated access to all of my family.

I’m not sure that it’s accurate to say that I didn’t want to know my nieces and nephew more. I think for a period of time it was very difficult to connect with any of them, and rather that create unnecessary stress in their lives, it was simpler to take a step back.

I think the circumstances surrounding your and Peter’s divorce contributed to a great deal of stress and anger, which I am sensing from your communication that you may still have to a degree. That is your right to hold on to that, but it is not healthy in the longer term. Just an observation from personal experience.

As I have said, I am extremely grateful that my nieces and nephew wanted to make the reconnection with me, and I have enjoyed sharing my story with them, finding out about what has happened in their lives, and seeing the remarkable beauty of the children they are raising. I know how proud you are of them, and I know how proud Peter is of them.

Now that I have made connections with nearly all of my nephews and nieces, I look forward to continuing to share their joys and trials in the many years to come. I am not sure that this should really bother you as much as it does, but that is the reality.

Thanks again for the email. I hope you continue to enjoy the life you have, but I don’t really think it is beneficial for us to really continue a dialog at this point.

Peace,
James

Who said Facebook was useless?

Family

Chris celebrated his birthday during our recent camping trip to Oklahoma. This pic was taking the day before his birthday at one of the stops that we made during a hike through Beaver Bend National Park. Anyway, I thought it was a good picture (and recent) to use to wish him a happy birthday.

Family Birthdays, Chris

Happy Holidays to all my friends and other blog journal buddies.

Well it is almost another year that has passed us by, and the holiday season is upon us. It is Christmas evening and we are watching Scary Movie 4, after having consumed Christmas dinner and some dessert. A fun evening, no? Chris and I have been in East Texas for a few days, and head back to home tomorrow with the boys. I think both Bosley and Colby are ready to head home for some serious relaxation.

Christmas was good, and I think we all did rather well with the gifts this year, but the best part of the trip has been the time just relaxing around with the family, Chris and the boys. I’ve also been spending time doing some craft things, mainly my loom knitting. So far I’ve created a scarf (for Chris), two hats, and one potholder/placemat. It has been a learning experience for me, and I’m still getting acquainted with what yarn works with each loom, so more to learn in the coming months. When we get back home, I’ll snap some pics of these and place them somewhere on the web.

I’ve also been giving some thoughts to my blog over the last few days, and hope to be a better blogger in the new year, although I think it may take on a different angle given my new job and new hobbies. I started my blog initially as a journal, and after a few years, I started doing some self-censorship on my blog posts, as more and more people started to read it. We’ll see how that goes.

I’m working on my milestone planner, an idea that I got from On Money Making blog (courtesy of Lifehacker),

6. Plan the new year – Forget resolutions. Instead, create a handful of major milestones that you can break into action items and then measure as you progress through the year.

… so I’ll be posting those one day soon.

Family

I was remiss to not post this at the start of the day, but it’s my man’s birthday today, and I have to let the world know that I am wishing him a happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Chris
Happy birthday to you.

Family, Friends

This past weekend, we drove across county lines to chop down a tree. Well I shouldn’t say chop, more saw. I always feel a little horrid when we take the saw teeth to the trunk of a tree (I’m a strong advocate of fake trees), and visits to the “tree farm” always remind me of those lobsters that you see sitting in tanks in a restaurant. Of course, the Christmas/holiday thing has never really been my thing (the Santa fiasco of ‘79 ruined me), and so I leave things like decorating and trees to my sweet. He loves a real tree, and he swears that Bosley, our sensitive pooch, gets very excited and knows that Christmas is just around the corner when we bring the tree home. (My thoughts are the smell of the real tree reminds him that a visit to Grandma and Grumpies is close.)

This year, we selected a very fine tree, and while it was sentenced to death by our choice, it is being loved. Of course, the pooches are always interested to see what Chris is doing with the tree, and for some reason the lights always fascinate Colby (as they move along the ground). Once the tree was completed (well near completed), we forced the boys to sit in front of the damn thing. They refused to smile, as you can see in the picture. Colby looks like I’m not sure what. We do have some modifications to make to the tree, but I think we are going to keep it fairly simple this year.

I’m looking forward to returning to Gilmer this year for the holidays, as it is rather peaceful there (apart from the occasional gunshot).

Family bosley, colby

We are currently driving back to Frisco after visiting Gilmer for Thansgiving. The boys are exhausted – a common result after a visit to see Grandma & Grandpa, and Uncle Jake. We are both a little tired as well, but more relaxed than when we heading there on Wednesday.

Our entire visit involved eating, resting (including naps), walking and relaxing. When we arrived Wednesday night, we were treated to ham, sweet potato casserole, and a multitude of other delicacies. The casserole was unbelievably good!

Turkey day was busy for Chris’s mom as she worked on the Thanksgiving creations that was to become main meal for the day. The rest of us try to help, but I always feel that my contribution is best provided after the meal in the cleaning up. Of course the pooches LOVE to visit at these times of the year due to the yummy leftovers they enjoy.

Did I mention desserts? No? Well Chris’s mom is singly responsible for destroying whatever little health we have, by making the most incredible desserts (they are addictive, so one can’t avoid eaten them).

I am thankful that on this trip home we do not have leftovers. Leftovers from Gilmer MUST be consumed – it would be a sin otherwise.

It’s always nice to visit, but equally nice to head home.

Family, Random Thoughts

Cute Bonding Moment
Originally uploaded by MelbGuy.

This is one of my favorite pics from our recent camping trip. Colby gets so tired at times that you can see his head nodding up and down as he fights the urge to sleep. Chris took the opportunity to cuddle into him as he was doing this, and he quickly drifted off to sleep.

The boyz are both just so tired right now after their weekend adventure, so there is a lot of sleeping going on right now.

I’ve added more pictures from our recent weekend camping trip, so be sure to check some of these out.

Family, Travel camping