What if Jesus had known kung fu?

Well, I've finally finished reading “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal” by Christopher Moore. It was good.

The book explains Christ's (known as Joshua in the book) childhood, through his friend Biff. It portrays a journey that is made when Josh and Biff are younger, through to their early thirties – or the “missing years” as many people may call this period. On the first page of the book is listed a summary of what is covered during the time covered, including the proper method for choosing a harlot, how sarcasm was invented, what the rought draft of the Sermon on the Mount sounded like (and who missed out on a mention), and the other age old question on how bunnies came to be associated with Easter. Fascinating reading.

Of course, for those focused Christians out there, this book may seem to be blasphemous, but this appears to fit within the main story being told – which is that Jesus was condemned for blasphemy (against the standards in place at the time). Close-minded individuals probably won't get much from this book, but for the rest of us, it provides a refreshing look (or point of view) on what might have happened during the teenage – early adult years (read the Afterword to get a sense of serious the author is not).

Lamb is broken into parts and each one starts with a saying, a couple of which I thought were worth repeating (and will make it into my quotes section on my website).

“Nobody's perfect …Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.” (Anonymous)

“God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh.” (Voltaire)

Of course, one of the questions that is asked that finally gets answered is what the “H” stands for in Jesus H. Christ. Just like the journey Homer had to take to find out what the “J” stood for, you too will have to take the journey to figure out the “H.” (A hint: it's not Harold.)