james nunn | blog

My mother has long been one of the most solid foundations in my life. While I am miles away from her, we remain in touch and connected as mothers normally are with their children. It was my mother that told me that I should make the decision to move to the US if I thought that not going would be a regret that I would live with for a long time. I worry constantly about my mother, and the fact that she is so far away, that if something were ever to happen that I wouldn’t be there for her. I jokingly think that I have become my mother, where my mother is concerned.

My mother is one of the strongest people I know. She has cared for my sister since she was diagnosed with cancer when she was 3, and to this day still cares for her (my sister is now 37). It has been a constant struggle for my mum, but my mother never seemed to complain — even with all the issues that were going on with my dad during this time. My mother has been the cheerleader for all her children, and has been the oracle when advice was needed. Sometimes we took that advice, others we didn’t, but my mother always supported us in the decisions that we made – even when they were not always the best ones.

My mother and father separated when I was 11, and for me it was one of the best decisions my mother ever made. My father and I were not close. I am not sure why, I just never felt a strong bond with him, or certainly don’t remember there being one — not like I always had with my mother. My father had decided that alcohol was more important to get through the day than his family. In my eyes he was a sad man, and I rarely took the time to seek him out for anything. I did spend some time with him in late 1987-1988 when we took a trip to Western Australia to visit his brother. I thought of it as an opportunity to reacquaint myself with my dad, but alas that didn’t work out. He hadn’t changed, and spent much of his day drinking. Some suggested it was my sister’s illness that caused my father to drink. There may be some truth to that, but that is for another discussion in a less public forum.

The last time I really saw my dad was at my brother’s wedding. He was so frail (there is a picture here of him on that day). My father died in January 1998. The official cause was pneumonia, but we all knew that his years of alcoholism had slowly destroyed his body. The day of his funeral was one of those hot summer days — definitely not one designed for wearing a suit. I gave his eulogy. It was one of the most difficult things I had to write as there was nothing that really came to me to say about my father. Sad, but true.

I last saw my mother in 2009 when Chris and I went back to Australia. It had been nearly nine years since I had seen her (a fact that bothers me to this day) before that. This year, she is coming to the United States to visit me and I am almost giddy with excitement.

My mother is now 72 years old, and I will get to celebrate her 73rd birthday here this year. I can’t wait!

Love you mum!

day 5

Before last’s night little ordeal, I would have said that people’s ignorance annoys me. (I still think this.)

However, since last night, I’d say that my inability to control my anxiety at times really pisses me off. I’ve shared with some of my friends, that when I think something happens (to a person, for example), there are times when I go to the most extreme thoughts as to what may have happened.

Let me give you an example. Chris and I have this arrangement that when he is travelling somewhere – anywhere really – that when he gets to that place, he will tell me that he arrived. If I don’t hear from him (I normally use the 30 -minute rule), then instead of rationally thinking that he may have stopped for something to eat, or drove a little slower than normal, or whatever, I go to the place that has him lying on the side of the road dying. There is no in-between, that is where I go.

When he traveled to India and his plane just stopped tracking over Greenland, my first thought was that the plane had crashed. Of course, there was no news of this, so after thinking through this I discovered that the tracking of flights is something that only really happens in the Americas. So I learnt something from the experience.

None of this is rational thought, and I know that. But does it stop my brain going down that pathway? No. No it does not.

So my mind and my anxiety really annoy me (in this case more than ignorant people).

The good thing is that I can fix me.

Here is a picture that means a lot to me. I have a lot of pictures that mean a lot to me, but this is one of the first group pictures taken of our Little Brother with us at a BBBS event. My boss took it, and it has always been a favorite of mine. Our Little Brother really has become a part of our life, and every day I am thankful that he is sharing our lives as he grows up.

If I had to pick another photo that means a lot, and is one I have in my office, it would be this one.

This one features our two dogs, Bosley and Colby with Chris at his parent’s home in East Texas.

Today the last I purchased was a domain name: sloppymessydrunk.com

There is a reason.

Earlier this evening, I was at the Frisco Pride social at Cross Roads Winery, and I was reading about how this winery allows you to buy a barrel of wine and then bottle/label it yourself. After posting this on twitter how I thought this would be a great idea to do, a friend responded “what would the label look like?” and I responded “Sloppy Messy Drunk” and I thought, that would be a great domain name — and now I own it. It will be on my bottle

Maybe I should have changed this one.

My blog name is pretty simple: “james nunn | blog”

My older blogs were titled “online and exposed” which suggested that I was (1) online; and (2) exposed, as in allowing people who may stumble across my blog to look inside my life. I used to post a lot of more personal entries, but then it got a little complicated, so I started to self sensor. Then you start to work, and this is a factor that you need to take into account as not to embarrass your employer, or yourself. So I simplified — which is a pretty common tactic that I use from day to day. I call my blog what it is — a blog.

Pretty boring.

Day 1

Here is a recent picture of me. This was taken at the NCAA Division I Championship in Frisco earlier in the year.

So that is me. On a cold night in the bleachers at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco.

Next are fifteen interesting facts about me (the interest level may vary, but I’m listing things that some may know about, and others will learn about).

1. I am Australian.
2. I am a Gemini (under the old system, and I don’t think I’m going to move to the new system).
3. At the time of this post, I am 42 years old.
4. I am gay (this should not be  a shock or surprise to anyone).
5. I have a phenomenal partner in life, Chris.
6. We have two dogs: Bosley and Colby.
7. I have one tattoo and one piercing.
8. I have done 4-5 naked runs (5Ks).
9. I don’t like open water (or crazy people driving boats on water).
10. I love the beach, but rarely swim in the ocean.
11. I have been in three relationships in my life.
12. I do eat Vegemite on toast and other things.
13. I had LASIK in 1998, but now have to wear glasses for reading and the computer.
14. I was meant to be named “Eric Russell Nunn” but due to odd reasons, I was named after my mother’s father.
15. I have three brothers (2 older, 1 younger) and 1 sister (younger).