james nunn | blog

I realized that, unlike what I did in 2010, I did not publish a set of goals for 2011. This does not mean I didn’t have any, I just didn’t get around to posting them (maybe that should be a yearly goal). That being stated, I did think it would be a good time to reflect on 2011, and focusing on some goals for 2012.

Home Life

Our new home in Frisco was completed and we moved in during March 2011. We are thrilled with our house and have yet to find anything that we really are unhappy with, or would have done differently (well… there may be a couple of things). Not only was the move being planned for March, but a week after our move in date, I hosted a surprise 40th birthday party for Chris. None of that would be have been possible without the amazing support of friends, and I’m thankful for them for helping make our move and Chris’s surprise such a success.

Since being in the home, we have made some of our planned modifications, and continue to schedule others. We have amazing neighbors, and had the opportunity to socialize with them a number of times already. Ending the year at the new home, Chris and I hosted both Thanksgiving and Christmas. So from a home perspective it has been a great year.

As they say, when one door closes another opens. In 2011 we said a sad farewell to EGB (Eaglebend Lane); the home Chris and I shared for just over ten years. The house has a new set of owners who appear to be just as in love with the house as we were, so we have been comforted that we left EGB in good hands. We have been fortunate to get to know the new owners, and continue to get updates on the house.

Family

One of my previous goals has been to start a family, but this did not eventuate during 2011. With other priorities throughout the year, there never was a good time to do this. 2012 will bring a lot more planning in relation to this, and we hope to have at least started the process before the end of the year.

The most amazing and special part of 2011 in relation to my family has been my mother and sister arriving on November 28 for their vacation. So far we have celebrated mum’s birthday, Christmas and New Years, a first for me in over 13 years. Every day has been one that I have cherished, and though we have not been busy with travel or loads of other fun activities as we have prepared for the end of the year, I have enjoyed every moment.

Chris’s mother continues to live in East Texas, and this has created some challenges through the year, but we are hopeful that she will be making the move more locally in the coming months to reduce some of the stress that Chris and his brother are going through.

Friends

Our relationship with our Little Brother, Trey continues to be very rewarding. Chris and I have continued to meet with Trey every week doing the things that we seem to enjoy doing. I continue to be amazed at how much he is growing up and how different he is to the 10yo boy that we met nearly 4 years ago. He has become part of our family, and I hope that we will be there to enjoy all of his milestones in his life over the many years to come.

One of the major pluses for the year (besides plus added to Google+) was the decision of our best friends, Bobby and Ian to move into the same neighborhood (8 lots away). They continue to be our closest friends and for that I am grateful (did I mention that they are more fun to be around now that they have Parker?).

We continued through the year to celebrate our friend’s milestones, including TWO forty-year-old birthdays: Chris and Brian.

Community

One of the biggest projects I was involved with in 2011 was the Frisco Arts bond election. This ran from February through to May, and while every effort was made to defeat the proposition, it passed. While disappointing, it was also incredibly rewarding as I got to work alongside some of the most energetic and passionate individuals in our community; all sharing  my disappointment about the decision that Frisco voters made. From that experience, came new friendships and the rekindling of some older friendships. In looking back, we did our best and lost, but in losing we gained so much, that I consider it to be one of my “winning” moments through the year.

Also through 2011, I have continued my tenure on the board of directors at Youth First Texas. I have worked with some talented people to bring about the start of change with the organization, especially after leading efforts for a new mission statement, vision and values statements. My involvement is not likely to continue in 2012, as the organization has taken a different route to get to where they need to be, and sometimes it is important to recognize the time to step back and hope for the best. As I have said in other posts, I try to take something positive from each experience, and the one thing I learned is that the youth that we serve are strong, they will survive and they are more adult-like than many give them credit.

Technology

Where would we be without technology? Well for starters, you may not be reading this (assuming of course, that anyone is reading this). Facebook continues to dominate our lives, but it has been a tremendous benefit to me in the planning on my mother’s trip to the US, in keeping up to date with family and friends, and in learning some crazy-ass things about people I know. I’ve been waiting for the “FB replacement” to come along, and thought that this may be in the guise of Google+, alas it does not appear that this will happen. Of course, in my thinking this is a good thing, as I can use Google+ the same way that I thought I would use Facebook (before it went public). So there is still hope, especially if you join my circle!

Twitter has been on the decline over the past 12 months. I’m not sure why this is, but it seems that overall I’m sharing less about what is going on with life and happenings in life that previously. Perhaps social networking fatigue is setting in after all.

Overall 2011 was a good year. There were some parts that I would rather not have to endure again, but these are outweighed by the many good things that happened throughout the year. I’m sure there are many other occurrences that happened during the year that are worthy of including in this post, and it will be one of my new goals to share these as they occur in 2012. For now, we move into the new year with hope, with love and with (almost) serenity.

Back in January 2010, I posted a list of goals (or resolutions) that I had. While I was able to achieve some of these, many of these went uncompleted. As I give thought to what I want to achieve in 2011, here is a review of 2010.

1. Start a family. Chris and I have been discussing when the right time would be for having a child, and as we are both getting older, we’ve decided that now is as good a time as any. We are exploring different options for us to make this happen, and as we make progress, we’ll be posting up

No luck with this, however our friends Bobby and Ian did start theirs. So we have become uncles to the handsome Mr. Parker (“P-diddy”). In 2011 we shall continue to explore this option for Chris and I.

2. Successfully renew my work visa for the next couple of years. This will be a critical step for us to achieve goal number 1, as well as keeping me working at the best nonprofit agency in the US of A.

Done, and with a new attorney. What a major difference it is to have someone handling this application who actually knows what they are doing.

3. Participate in at least four (4) 5K runs. This in part is related to the first goal, and will help with our training. One of our goals is to include our Little Brother in one of these runs towards the latter part of the year.

I completed 50% of these. I can’t say that I was in the best shape, but I made it to the finish line in both races.

4. Complete a half-marathon. Chris and I are going to try to complete the White Rock Half-Marathon later this year. We will be working towards building up our distance and stamina to make this a reality, and thankfully it is on the other side of summer, so there will be many opportunities to train.

Um, no. Maybe 2011.

5. Complete a 5K run in under 30 minutes. The best that I’ve ever done was just under 33 minutes, so with some focus and determination this should be a relatively easy goal to make.

Almost, but another incomplete.

6. Travel to at least one place that I’ve never been before outside of the United States. Right now there are discussions for a trip to the Mexican Riviera which would fulfill this goal, but should this not happen, there will be another trip that we will need to take.

We made it to Mexico!

7. Successfully meet the goals for my new role on the Youth First Texas board. This will include the fundraising component, but it also relates to working with the board to overcome some of the issues that the organization is facing right now.

Done. I will be honest and say that it was a lot more work than I originally thought but it has been an amazing experience and I am looking forward to continuing to build on the work that I have started this past year in 2011.

8. Continue to improve general health. While the running (exercise) will definitely help with this, I do need to put a goal about weight loss, or general health on my list. I would like to drop back to at least a 32? waist before summer starts, and that will be something that I will attempt to do.

Health has improved, especially mental health. I did get a little thinner for the summer, but maintenance has never been my thing. We have rejoined the gym, and we will be adhering to a stricter fitness routine in the new year.

9. Travel to Australia to visit family, including family I did not get an opportunity to meet up with during our last visit in 2009. At this stage our thinking is to make the trip around Christmas this year, but that will depend a great deal on Qantas making it financially possible.

With our travels to Mexico, the trip to Australia didn’t happen. 2011 will see a family reunion.

10. Maintain healthier relationships. This is something that may be more difficult to measure, but it’s one goal that I have to focus on more. We tend to get caught up in the world as it rushes by us each day, and it is becoming more important to me to spend time with my friends, along with making new friends.

I think I have been successful in this. I’ve definitely expanded my circle of friends, and I don’t think this has affected my existing relationships. Of course, others may disagree.

As I blogged a few years ago, one of the most effective ways to hold oneself accountable on goals or resolutions that you make, is to publish them, so here are my goals for 2010.

1. Start a family. Chris and I have been discussing when the right time would be for having a child, and as we are both getting older, we’ve decided that now is as good a time as any. We are exploring different options for us to make this happen, and as we make progress, we’ll be posting updates.

2. Successfully renew my work visa for the next couple of years. This will be a critical step for us to achieve goal number 1, as well as keeping me working at the best nonprofit agency in the US of A.

3. Participate in at least four (4) 5K runs. This in part is related to the first goal, and will help with our training. One of our goals is to include our Little Brother in one of these runs towards the latter part of the year.

4. Complete a half-marathon. Chris and I are going to try to complete the White Rock Half-Marathon later this year. We will be working towards building up our distance and stamina to make this a reality, and thankfully it is on the other side of summer, so there will be many opportunities to train.

5. Complete a 5K run in under 30 minutes. The best that I’ve ever done was just under 33 minutes, so with some focus and determination this should be a relatively easy goal to make.

6. Travel to at least one place that I’ve never been before outside of the United States. Right now there are discussions for a trip to the Mexican Riviera which would fulfill this goal, but should this not happen, there will be another trip that we will need to take.

7. Successfully meet the goals for my new role on the Youth First Texas board. This will include the fundraising component, but it also relates to working with the board to overcome some of the issues that the organization is facing right now.

8. Continue to improve general health. While the running (exercise) will definitely help with this, I do need to put a goal about weight loss, or general health on my list. I would like to drop back to at least a 32″ waist before summer starts, and that will be something that I will attempt to do.

9. Travel to Australia to visit family, including family I did not get an opportunity to meet up with during our last visit in 2009. At this stage our thinking is to make the trip around Christmas this year, but that will depend a great deal on Qantas making it financially possible.

10. Maintain healthier relationships. This is something that may be more difficult to measure, but it’s one goal that I have to focus on more. We tend to get caught up in the world as it rushes by us each day, and it is becoming more important to me to spend time with my friends, along with making new friends.

Let’s see how we do with these, and I hope to be able to post updates on each status throughout the year. We’ll see.

I’m finally getting around to post my “end of the year” reflections. Hey it is still within the first week of the year, so it still counts. Overall 2009 was a great year with a few upsets. We saw the inauguration of President Obama, and a pretty intense first few months of his administration. While he started off well, Obama’s attempts to “play nice” with the republicans did affect his ability to get much of his agenda completed, or started. Hopefully 2010 will be a better year for the President.

In March, Chris and I celebrated our tenth anniversary together. Both of us would agree that it has not been an easy ten-years, but it definitely has been worth it.

In May, Chris and I travelled to Australia with our best friends, Bobby and Ian. We made the trek to Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney and then finally Queensland (where my mother and sister). It was the first time that I’d been home in over nine years, and I was amazed at how much it had changed. I wished I had blogged more while I was over there, and while I have a load of notes from the trip, I didn’t end up putting these online.

We continue to do our camping trips with a normal mix of 8 people, and seven dogs. These trips continue to be the highlights of our years, and is a wonderful opportunity to hang out with friends and relaxing. Once again, we went to Beaver’s Bend twice (or near it), and found a new cabin that may be our preferred home when doing future trips. This year we combined the Easter and Halloween breaks for both trips.

October saw Chris and I, along with Bobby, Ian and Layton heading up to Washington D.C. for the National Equality March. It was an amazing experience, and one that I will remember for a very long time. The last time I was in Washington D.C. was in 1999, and I can say that the city has changed a huge amount in that time … for the better. The march itself was so much larger than anyone could have expected, and while there were a lot of speakers, each one offered something to inspire the crowd to go back to their towns and cities and work towards full equality for the GLBT community.

Throughout the year, Chris and I meet with our Little Brother, Trey. We have both been trying to keep our blog up to date with all the activities that we have done with him. We continue to have a great time with each other, and have managed to do some remarkable things during 2009. Rather than repeat them here, you are welcome to go over to our Two Bigs site and check things out. One of the nice surprises of the year was winning the Collin County Regional Bigs of the Year (the first gay couple to win this award from what I am told).

On a sadder note, the year was not all good news.

Over in my home, the worst bushfires in Australian history ravaged much of Victoria and other parts of the country. This was made more personal given the area that was most severely affected was very close to my hometown that I grew up in. While over in Australia, we got to see a lot of the damage (from a distance), and felt very sad for all the lives that were lost, along with all the animals that were killed or injured.

In March, Chris and I were shocked at the news that our good friend Duncan died. We learnt that he had a relapse with his cancer, and it was discovered too late. We both were in shock for a few days, and still miss his updates that we used to get from time to time. Fruitbat appears to be continuing to recover from this tragic loss, and thankfully Chris has been over to visit with him during the year (it seems I got this wrong).

The year had a busy ending, and both of us were kept really busy. It was great to unwind for a short time at Chris’s parents in East Texas to reboot. Our end of year New Years Eve Party was another success, and a great way to end the year.

I’m sure that I have forgotten many things that happened during the year, and that will reinforce my need to blog more often. I will blog more often. I will blog more often …

As I sit here in the quietness of the morning, I am thinking about how Thanksgiving has changed for me over time. As an Australian, I had heard about the American Thanksgiving and got my idea of what it was from the television shows that I had seen. Ten years ago, I was introduced to my first Thanksgiving in America. It was not quite the same as what the idiot box had shown me. In some cases, it was better, and in other ways it was quite underwhelming.

I had seen, from a distance, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and thought how fun it would be to watching this in the streets of New York, but then I realized it was quite cold up there and maybe it wasn’t a great idea after all. Standing in the cold, with thousands of others, craning my neck to get a glimpse of something (most somethings I would have no clue about). Instead, we watched it on television and I got to see the parade close, but not personal.

Over the last ten years, the way we celebrate Thanksgiving has changed. Since those early days, Chris’s parents have moved back to Texas, and we now spend each Thanksgiving at their home in East Texas. The ritual is normally the same. We arrive the night before (normally), and spend the evening catching up, watching the dogs go full-force around the property, and then snacking on some ham that was cooked earlier in the day. Thanksgiving Day is spent watching Chris’s mom prepare all the sides for the main meal, while his dad cooks the turkey. Then we eat and then we collapse.

This year is the first year that I’ve really thought about what Thanksgiving means to me. It doesn’t have a lot of the same meaning that many Americans have – though I would suggest that many Americans don’t celebrate the holiday with any idea of what the holiday is about, apart from a day off work, and the day before all the crazy sales start for the Christmas season.

For me, Thanksgiving has become about being with my family (Chris and the boys), and having some down time to relax, reboot and re-energize. I don’t share the same history of the holiday as Chris does, but I’ve come to realize that each holiday that we celebrate has become something that has been defined by the time that we spend together with family and friends.

So for those that celebrated the holiday, I hope it was a good time for you, and you had time to spend time with some of the ones that you love.

Today is my birthday. I am 41.

As many of my friends email, facebook or twitter their birthday wishes to me, I got to thinking back (as one does from time to time) to the years that I have seen come and go in my past. I realized today that each year seems to be going by faster than the previous one, and the things that I hoped to do “when I was younger” either are no longer important, or I am getting to “that age” where these may not be an option to continue to pursue. Many of these “wish items” have been replaced with others, which have been achieved, and today I am in a better place than I was when I was younger (however many years that may have been).

I used to look at people who are my age (again when I was younger) and think that I’d never get to be that old. I also remember the first time that my mother made the announcement that “40 was the beginning of the best years of my life” (she has since made the same statement for 50, 60 and now 70). I wonder if that is what the “younger generation” think of me when I interact with them, even though I still think like a 20-something in many way.

I’m grateful that I have been able to be the person that I am today at the age of 41. I’ve definitely done a lot with my life, and I know there is a lot for me to continue to do. I’m also thankful for being able to spend my birthday with my best friend and partner, and of course our two pooches (neither of whom know what a birthday actually is).

So why the post? Not really sure, apart to say thank you to all my friends and family for your birthday wishes. Your friendship and love have made the last 41 years a joy, and I’m looking forward to at least another 41. Maybe I need to start that book before the life becomes a passing memory.

Ten years ago today I arrived in the United States on a journey that was filled with hope, and built on a new love that had yet to be fully explored. Today, ten years ago, Chris and I landed at LAX and then made our way to DFW where Chris and I started our lives together. It has been an incredible journey that has had its high and low moments, but each step has been something that I have been thankful for every day (well most every day).

The decision to make the move across the Pacific was a very tough one for me. I was leaving people behind that I loved, who were a major part of my life and a stable part of my social environment. I have missed many opportunities to celebrate in the joys that my friends have experienced and the sadness in the loss of dearly loved friends.* It was my decision, but it was a decision that I do not regret, as I have enjoyed the privilege of sharing my life with a man that contributes to my happiness everyday.

Today is about the love that I share with the man whom has been a significant part of my life for the last ten years, and the love that keeps me going every day.

So Happy Anniversary Chris, I hope you have enjoyed our life together as much as I have, and will continue on the journey with me for many years to come.

Side note: We chose today (March 5) as our “anniversary” date as this was the day that we officially started our lives together as a couple. Even though we had known each other for some time prior to this date, it seemed appropriate that we used this date as our date.

* Since arriving here, I have developed many wonderful friendships where I have experienced their joys and our collective sadness over the years.

Well it has been almost a full day on 2009, and I’ve just got back from a lovely NY Day Dinner with our friends, and I figured I should start the year off with a New Year post. So, Happy New Year to everyone!

2008 seemed to fly by, and I know that there is no more or no less time available each day, but each year it seems to move by so much faster. I’ve wondered if this is an effect of getting older, but I’ve asked around and friends of all ages have agreed that 2008 was quick. It was a good year though.

During the year, I had the privilege of spending time with the people that I love and care deeply for, and while building on these friendships, I’ve been able to establish new relationships with people throughout the year, including a very special one with our Little Brother, Trey.

The year had a number of highlights including our wonderful trip to Hawaii with Chris’s parents, my 40th birthday (yes, Virginia, I am that old), my very first new car and our travels with our friends.

The year also had a few not so great moments, including the stress related to my visa transition, a brief health concern (which continues to improve everyday), and the relocation of one of my best friends to Washington (we still miss you Layton!).

2009 promises to be a brand new year that is full of change. From a political perspective, the US of A is about to transition to a new president that promises a new direction. From a personal perspective, plans are being made to travel home to Australia to visit my mom and family, and I plan to continue my journey in developing a healthier and happier body.

I’ve made a few goals for the new year, and hope to be able to report back on many of these. They say the best way to achieve goals is to write them down, and make yourself accountable for these through regular milestones. So for 2009, here are some of my goals:

• Reach my goal weight by March 2009.
• Establish a more “zen-like” lifestyle (keeping things simple)
• Compete in at least four 5K runs
• Spend more quality time with friends and family (not really a measurable, but wanted to include this as a reminder of what is important)

There are others, and I shall work to blog more about the progress of these as the year progresses. However, for now, and before the first day of the year ends, I wanted to wish everyone a healthy, happy and safe 2009.