Something that really annoys you

day 5

Before last’s night little ordeal, I would have said that people’s ignorance annoys me. (I still think this.)

However, since last night, I’d say that my inability to control my anxiety at times really pisses me off. I’ve shared with some of my friends, that when I think something happens (to a person, for example), there are times when I go to the most extreme thoughts as to what may have happened.

Let me give you an example. Chris and I have this arrangement that when he is travelling somewhere – anywhere really – that when he gets to that place, he will tell me that he arrived. If I don’t hear from him (I normally use the 30 -minute rule), then instead of rationally thinking that he may have stopped for something to eat, or drove a little slower than normal, or whatever, I go to the place that has him lying on the side of the road dying. There is no in-between, that is where I go.

When he traveled to India and his plane just stopped tracking over Greenland, my first thought was that the plane had crashed. Of course, there was no news of this, so after thinking through this I discovered that the tracking of flights is something that only really happens in the Americas. So I learnt something from the experience.

None of this is rational thought, and I know that. But does it stop my brain going down that pathway? No. No it does not.

So my mind and my anxiety really annoy me (in this case more than ignorant people).

The good thing is that I can fix me.